Since You've Been Gone

Not all the time by any means. But sometimes, especially lately...........
















Since You've Been Gone

A woman my age, sittin’ here cryin’
I oughta be stronger than I am
Oughta take comfort in wisdom or something like that
But it isn’t that way, ‘cause sooner or later
I’m still that nervous 9th grader
Watching you pull us together, I never knew how

And since you’ve been gone I’m just fallin’ apart
There’s a hole in my life, in my soul, in my heart
And I stare out this window till light becomes dark
And there’s nothing that’s touching me now

But not to complain, we’re just bereft, not deserted
Lord knows your rest was deserved
It’s just your absence is present in all that I do
In the sun in the field, in the poem I keep saying
In the hymn that some church bells were playing

You have always been part of them but I never knew

How could I ever begin to say?
Surely you already knew
What is this world with you gone away?
How can this finally be true?

Since You've Been Gone
Words And Music By
Cheryl Wheeler

Dad Picture

Richard DeWitt
August 31, 1925 - June 19, 2008

Dad

Sometime in the very early morning hours of June 19, my Father, Richard, calmly and quietly slipped the bonds of this earth and is finally at peace.

I sure am going to miss you, Dad.

Dad update and dream

I am in Seattle.

I have been here for a week now; My father weighs 80 pounds and is very close to death. I am spending as much time with him as I can. The hospice nurse was by yesterday and they are starting morphine for him today. He's so uncomfortable, and it would be a blessing for him. He literally is not eating or drinking. He's picking at the comforter and so many other signs that it will be very soon.

Last weekend while my brother and sister in law where there with him, he says real loudly, "I don't think I can do this anymore! I just can't so this anymore!" and he had told me earlier that "something" was going to happen in two days. When I asked him, "is something going to happen in two days, Dad?" he said "I sure hope so." Sounds like he wants to go, and I cannot blame him. This is a difficult time for all of us, but more so for him I think. I don't want my Dad to die, of course but he seems so miserable. He would be free of the pain and the fog that Altzheimer's tortures him with.

I dreamed last night that I had a little truck, and I was going for a ride. The road went up a little hill and curved gently off to the left, and there was a turn off to the right along a clif face and a shoreline road. I said, "I think I'll go this way" and turned off to the right. the road ran along a shoreline and eventually just went along the shore, past people sitting on the beach in the sand.

I had the feeling me driving along there was a little unusual, but some had done it before so it was okay. I continued on to a little clearing where I could pull the truck into. There was a little river off to the right, but hidden by green plants and low branches...it was really gorgeous in this place. On the other sidee of the truck, there was a forest, but it bordered the clearing. This whole area was surrounded by trees and woods, like a little cathedral in the woods.

I heard somone say, "It's a bear!" and I looked to see a white bear..No, NOT a polar bear...a white bear. I felt afraid and got in the truck and closed the door. I had left the drivers side window open about halfway, and bear poked his head in, snuffling, just checking me out...! He was NOT trying to hurt me. I was so afraid, all I did was say "AAAAAAGHHHH!!" trying to scare bear off, not thinking that maybe he just MIGHT have a message for me, dammit. I mean think about it...White Bear?? Poking his head in...I wish I had not been so reactive.

Sounds like it's time to seek the solace of the woods.

I sure miss my Dad.

I gotta go.

A real inspiration

I'm posting a link to this absolutely amazing and incredibly inspiring video, by Jill Bolte Taylor. She is a Scientist, and a true, genuine inspiration.

Two things: This video is long-18 minutes long; It will be worth every moment. Also, at 2:30 in, you should know (if you are squeamish and don't want to see an actual human brain and part of the spinal column) look away until the counter reaches 3:50 seconds. Please, though, even if you don't want to look at that, please stay with the video. It will be worth it.

The Video is at TED

Let me know what you think of it, if you would!

Peace

Cherry blossoms and red wings

The flu is but a memory-A little lingering cough but nothing more than that. Health is good!

The cherry trees are starting to bloom here. Every so often, you'll see an amazing swath of glorious pink blossoms in a surrounding sea of sleeping trees. Oh, they are beautiful!

This past week, I took D to work pretty much all week. When you get near the office, you begin to hear the most beautiful bird song....There are a great many red wing blackbirds here, and I adore their song! There is a lot of them in two marshy area right near the main road. In the morning, the males sit in the tops of the trees singing their wonderful song. It's such a treat to hear!

There are lots a crows, ravens, robins, and a lot of Canadian geese. I can even hear the chittering of hummingbirds in the trees here. It's still cold (below freezing) some nights so I'll put up the feeders this week.

Near where we live is a nature reserve. We've been over there twice so far. Next time we'll go to the lake to see D's favorite Herons and so many others. It's lovely and we will take more pictures! Here's a link to the park.

The sun is out and I have an art project I'm contemplating. I have all the materials with the exception of some real catkins-pussy willows. I can't seem to find any real or dried ones anywhere-not even at Michaels. I have some wonderful hand-made papers, a lovely shadow box, and a dream that I saw the completed project in. This should be fun! First today, though, I am going to do some shopping. After all, the sun is shining, and it's supposed to rain the rest of the week. Gotta get out and get my share of vitamin D!!

HUGS

Sickness

Last Sunday night I was struck down hard with flu. Everything hurts BAD. This is the first day I have actually gotten out of bed and made it as far as the computer. I have not felt this horrid in a very long time.

This stuff is nasty. It has multiple fever breaks, delirium, consistent rapid pulse, coughing, high fever (102-103+). I know its delirium because Mango looks like a Cylon. I expect him to say "By your command" any second.

Okay. Now I go back to bed. I'll feel better tomorrow I'm sure.

Hugs